You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
