before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
