Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
