your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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