he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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