I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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