tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
