Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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