yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
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you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize