i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize