Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
