Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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