Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
