Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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