is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
