If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
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My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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