guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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