So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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