I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
