Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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