Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it because I queefed?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
