I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
