Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
