Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am one with the molecules
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
