Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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