I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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