yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You may now shotgun with the bride
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
