oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Someone signed my nipple.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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