It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
