I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
