was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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