Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
nutella sex= disaster
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
