So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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