I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
