Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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