the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My penis needs a shock collar
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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