You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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