you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
