remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
