everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
