i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The best revenge is premature balding
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize