Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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