I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
