the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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