You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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