You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize