Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
