He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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