after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
