started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
