planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
