so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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