The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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