Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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