I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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