This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize