I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Randomize
