That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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