I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize