I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
