I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
