And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
