i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
