I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I smell like Dick and happiness
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
